Exreality.NET

In Nyarlathotep’s critically acclaimed article ‘Talkies,’ he makes mention of an obnoxious movie-goer, Iqbal, and his loud-mouthed friends. Obviously, with a name like that, you’d think that such a person was made up entirely. But as I watched my beloved hometown hockey team play their hearts out, I came to realize that Iqbal was in fact a real person, and that if I had to guess who he was, it would have been the man sitting directly behind me.

Let’s first talk about hockey. Hockey is not a sport wherein many people of color play. That is not a racist statement. If you take a look at the demographic that hockey appeals to, it is generally the whites, and in the case of Everett, rednecks. Don’t get me wrong, there are certainly those people from said groups that are interested in the sport, and what’s not to be interested in? Everett has its very own African-American player, and he is a beloved member of the team. The point still remains, the blacks aren’t huge hockey fans. That’s why when I saw the black man sitting behind me, I was feeling refreshed. That was my biggest mistake of the night.

The man’s speech was a joke. At first glance, he looked somewhat respectable. It looked like he may’ve had a grasp on the English language and the grammar rules that apply to it. But, as I had previously avoided assuming, the man spoke similarly to a ho on the Jerry Springer show. Using statements like “Man, don’t tell me ’bout no football game.” (I shall explain soon) It is a stereotype that that sort of speech is used by blacks, when in all actuality, that sort of speech is used by the uneducated, of ALL races. However, it does no justice to the stereotype and only reinforces it.

The next thing that drove me somewhat up a wall was this man’s apparent love for football (and the Dallas Cowboys). As I’m sure many of you are aware, the Seattle Seahawks (a professional football team located 30 miles South of where I live) were in a wildcard battle against the Dallas Cowboys. I don’t know about you, but a stereotype that I have formed is that these people always love to go against the team that everyone likes. I have known three people to be this way. 6,541 fans attended the hockey game tonight, and of those 6,541 people, I’d say that 6,538 of them were pulling for the Seahawks. As the game progressed, news of the Seahawks’ win traveled throughout the stadium. Meantime, this guy is yelling into his cell phone to his friend, “Man, don’t tell me ’bout no football game, I ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” Here’s the deal. Cover your ears all you want. You’re surrounded by 6,000 people who want their team to win. THE OUTCOME IS COMMON KNOWLEDGE. Get over yourself and your crappy team and accept that they lost a football game. When even the PA announcer makes it perfectly clear that the opposing team won, it is no longer necessary to physically observe your team losing in order to believe it. Better luck next year, Dallas.

Lastly, and most obnoxiously, his comments were blatantly annoying. For a majority of the game, Iqbal (as I named him) was shouting into his cellphone with one of his good buddies. That in itself is annoying, but is even more annoying when the person in question is making statements that those around him may find offensive. I recall hearing him say, “Yo, they’s actually lotsa people at this hockey thing!.” Yes, there are. In fact, it’s a well established international sport with a huge following. That would explain why there are ‘lotsa’ people here. Besides, football is too cold, windy, and wet. Smart people play their sports indoors.

My point in all of this is that even though at times it seems like we make up these Iqbal-esque characters (and we do), the same kind of person often appears in our everyday lives. We may never know the true identity of Iqbal, but it is my firm belief that the man I encountered tonight is the true definition of what it is to be an ‘Iqbal.’