Acclaim & Disdain
I know it has been a while since I’ve written anything, but after seeing today’s news I couldn’t resist writing an Acclaim & Disdain for old time’s sake. This will not be a weekly feature, instead we will do it every two weeks. Hopefully we can keep up with this less demanding schedule.
Acclaim
Recently in the news it was reported that musical artist Rihanna had filed charges against her boyfriend Chris Brown alleging the he had assaulted her. Just days later, Brown and Rihanna were reported to have recorded a duet. Acclaim to Chris Brown for putting that woman in her place and forcing her to participate in a musical endeavor with him. It’s likely that she wasn’t vacuuming the house sufficiently, or refused to participate in said duet, so he hit her in the face. That’s a generally accepted method for dealing with your significant other. Great job Mr. Brown, you’re an inspiration to us all.
Disdain
Once again, making another appearance in the disdain section: the news media. I’m tired of hearing them complain about the woman who recently had octoplets, or if you’re a media douchebag, “octomom.” That fucking nickname isn’t even clever. And furthermore, shut the fuck up. She can do whatever she wants, and if she says she can care for her children, let’s take her word for it until it becomes evident that she can’t, if that even happens to be the case. I know the media is all up in arms that she is a single mother, but I mean, we don’t have a news story every time someone in the South has a child, and God knows they CERTAINLY aren’t fit to be parents. Get over yourselves, there are far more pressing issues to be reported on.
Acclaim
Bristol Palin and her fiancé called off their engagement recently, despite the recent birth of their illegitimate child. Just a few months ago, the two insisted that they loved each other and were going to get married. Acclaim to Bristol for realizing that douchebags from Alaska who don’t understand how to employ a condom aren’t fit to participate in a young child’s life. Unfortunately, neither are idiotic Republican drones that use their gender to make up for the fact that no one wants to vote for the Republican platform itself any longer. Who knows, in 35 odd years or so we may have another butch lady in a pant suit trying to get into the White House, although by that point it’s likely we’ll have had Hilary Clinton, the Dali Llama, Chris Noth, and a genetically modified banana (Jeb Bush?) as President.
Disdain
South Carolina governor Mark Sanford is refusing to accept some of the stimulus money for his state out of fear that the United States will have an economic collapse similar to the one that occurred in Zimbabwe. A couple things on this: what would you Republicans have us do in this economic situation? Start a couple more wars to stimulate the economy? And how dare you suggest that the Democrats’ solution is to just “print more money?” All you did to fund the war in Iraq was print more money, and look where that got us. Second of all, don’t talk badly of Zimbabwe. They have a prosperous country full of industrious people. Though it’s likely they have a highly corrupt government, which probably played a large part in their economic collapse. Though many politicians in America are immoral and douche bags, the government itself is generally non-corrupt (what with that whole, 200+ year tradition of following a little document called THE CONSTITUTION, at least loosely), and therefore all of our money isn’t going to hoarding AIDS medications, raping countless women, and gold plating everything in our dictator’s 12 mansions.
Acclaim
There is a program along the US-Mexican border which allows as many as 43,000 registered users to monitor the border via webcams on a web page and report suspicious activity to local law enforcement agencies, who then decide whether or not to act. Although this doesn’t cover the entire border yet, and many people have criticized its actual efficacy, I like it. Why do I like it? Because instead of listening to these asshole Republicans bitch about wanting “more strict immigration policies,” we’re keeping them busy with a menial and ultimately useless task, therefore shutting them the hell up. So to those who say it’s not effective, I have to disagree: it shuts morons up very effectively.