10 Things That Could Better Society
I was recently thinking about interesting inventions and how to implement them to service the forceful betterment of society. Then most of the machines started to have a recurring theme of punching people in the face. So I promptly piled them into a list, edited a few ideas, and now we can proceed with 10 things that could better society.
1. First off, I think there should be a state sanctioned punching in the face machine for adulterers, but the federal government is against cruel and unusual punishment so I can’t have that.
2. Time traveling police boxes, this would help to place a British police officer anywhere you needed one… but then again who actually needs an officer that only has a plastic stick to beat people with? I mean most people have guns these days…
3. An implant that produces a severe electrical shock anytime the person implanted with the chip thinks about child pornography and/or statutory rape.
4. Personal force-fields that prevent the wearer from being harmed, allowing women to walk safely from place to place late at night and bank tellers to not be intimidated when being robbed by gunpoint.
5. A machine that rearranges atoms into edible food, solving the world hunger crisis.
6. A machine that automatically ingrains information into people’s heads, thus preventing them from turning into complete wastes of reproductive materials.
7. A device that stopped people from forcing their religion down other people’s throats, most likely in a preventive manner that punches them in the face.
8. The ability to punch someone in the face through the internet. For the last time, when you’re a rich white girl, Lil’ Weezye’s lyrics should not be your status because you should not be able to understand them because you did not grow up in harsh conditions and/or the ghetto.
9. Space elevators attached to a ring of solar panels orbiting Earth that will provide enough energy for the entire planet, thus providing energy for my machines to punch people in the face.
10. Omnipotence. Wouldn’t it be nice if me, and me alone, had knowledge of everything that has and every will happen with a total understanding of the Universe? I knew you’d agree with me. Thus I will only force my will upon those who do not.
I know you’re going to dislike me and you’re probably going to say ‘it was a joke, now I’ll punch you in the face’, but I’m still offended by some of the ignorance in this. I tried to find one of your points that was relevant or meaningful but unfortunately there were none. First of all, (2) British police do have sidearms, they just don’t tend to shoot everything that so much as gives them a bad look/looks middle eastern, so I guess you wouldn’t have heard about it. I have to say this is what caused me to read on. Secondly, (4) if there were such shields, how do you expect the robbers to be stopped? (5) Not only would these ‘machines’ cost much more energy than they were worth, but this so called crisis is really no such thing. There are over 300 thousand people in the US, and less than a million in Africa, rich and poor alike. If all they need is a dollar a day, it would take next to nothing to save them. One less drink a day, one less meal a week, one less game a season. There is no ‘crisis’ when the people who can help stand by and do nothing. (7) I have one of those, it’s called choice. (8) Did you grow up ‘in the ghetto’? They’re lyrics, not a dying monologue; they were meant to be enjoyed by others. (9) Gundam 00 is fiction. It doesn’t take much effort to research how impractical this is. You can’t believe something you saw on sci-fi is your new idea to change the world… most scientists know what they’re doing, and it’s not that. Finally (10), omnipotent means all powerful, the ‘all knowing’ word you are looking for is omniscience. Even if you don’t know the Latin roots, the words potent and science should make it pretty obvious…
You’re right, these 10 Things were meant to be humorous and had no relevant or meaningful points. But I will respond to what you were offended by, and not punch you in the face.
(2) These days British police may have sidearms, but police boxes are more of a rarity. You also failed to point out that not all police boxes have an officer inside of them.
(4) Yes, I did realize there was a giant, obvious hole in that scenario. How observant of you.
(5) It’s not the practical solution, it’s the lazy solution that the selfish human being would take, leaving everyone happy.
(7) I fail to understand how personal choice prevents others from imposing their religious beliefs on you.
(8) Yes the lyrics were meant to be enjoyed by others, but that doesn’t justify a young white woman who grew up in a gated community parading around with 90’s gangster rap as her personal anthem via a facebook status that she updates every 5 minutes.
(9) Gundam 00 may be fiction, but it’s not my only source for that idea. I may not be a scientist, but I am an engineer. And neither scientists or engineers have ruled out the idea of a space elevator. In fact, Microsoft held a Space Elevator Conference this past August to discuss the idea alongside NASA. NASA is currently holding a contest looking for advancing space elevator technology. I’d appreciate it if as you accuse me of being ignorant, you’d refrain from being ignorant yourself. Also, I think that most of the ideas I came up with were quite impractical, it was kind of a reoccurring theme.
(10) Yes omnipotent means all powerful, and I should have included omnipresence, but I did end that idea with not forcing my will upon those who don’t agree with me, which falls under being all powerful.
Thanks for taking the time to write such a long and insightful comment, I hope I might have addressed some of your concerns, but do note that this site is primarily about ranting and occasionally does offend people. I don’t dislike you for you comment, and I welcome you to continue reading and commenting on the site.
Are you implying that the police shadow is familiar with are the types to shoot someone simply as a result of them looking Middle Eastern? Such an implication is just as ignorant as you claim his article to be, so I’d be careful of making such criticisms if you plan on committing the same indiscretion that you pointed out.
How do shields prevent robbers from intimidating bank tellers? If you can’t be shot as a result of having a shield in front of you, a gun (the bank robber’s weapon of choice) isn’t terribly intimidating.
While I understand that you simply made a mistake in typing, I’d like to point out that there are actually 300 million people in the United States. And yes, it’s true that if everyone were a little less selfish, we could feed everyone on this planet. But it’s also true that a machine capable of rearranging atoms into food would probably pay for itself relatively quickly, despite the exorbitant R&D dollars that would have to go into such a contraption.
And you have a choice not to accept religions that are crammed down your throat, but you don’t have the choice of whether or not you have to listen to, and politely decline, someone’s attempts to force a belief system on you. It’d be much easier if people were automatically punched in the face for spewing their beliefs relentlessly.
Lyrics or not, they’re hardly applicable to most young white women in America or abroad. The hardships unique to the lifestyle of a person who lives or was raised in a ghetto are largely not applicable to the majority of young white women’s lives, and thus should not be quoted on a Facebook status meant to reflect a person’s current state of mind.
The people who invent revolutionary things are rarely the people who “do their research” and determine that something is impractical—they are usually dreamers. Innovators ask, “why not?” They don’t say, “no, because…”
And yes, he may have used omnipotence in place of omniscience, but you also used “thousand” in place of “million.” No one’s perfect, I guess.
Now there’s a lesson here: before putting in your two cents, make sure your opinion is worth the metal your two cents have been stamped from.
lol, you’re both right in many ways. Seriously, I went off on one a bit there, so I’m actually pretty sorry for that. I was pretty bored at the time (I’m 200 miles away from home with little to do for a week…) and the way you seemed to be playing off a sort of 50 year old view of the old copper kind of irritated me. Anyway, this being the internet, I hope you don’t hold a grudge too bad and perhaps you won’t be upset if I continue to reply? There are sarcastic undertones but somehow it seems shadow him/herself seems to have taken it best, but oh well. Can I just say, to both of you, you do realise I agree about the religion thing, right? I’m just trying to be fair. I mean, even if you find it annoying, do you really find someone who’s a volunteer doing something they’re passionate about trying to share happiness with others… more annoying than someone who’s being paid to try and sell you and a hundred other people something you don’t want, for the benefit of a company with little to no accountable morals? I’m just saying, there are far worse evils, it doesn’t really help anyone to pick on the people who’re putting their heart out.
Uhm first thing I was thinking is about the police… I don’t really get why you’re hung up about police boxes? They don’t really use them anymore… and naw it wasn’t particularly ignorance, it’s hard to be ignorant of something when it was on the news for the better part of a decade, but yep I was pretty much playing to a counter stereotype. Like I said, this was the one that offended me most, largely because a lot of people seem to think the American police is so many worlds ahead of the English, even though they’re pretty much cut from the same cloth.
I think shadow got the idea with the shields… thieves could grab stuff and then walk away, all the while safe from the police. For the food, you caught me there! My bad. You know it was a typing error because nobody would underestimate the US population to exactly 0.1%. However I still doubt that it would pay for itself ever, let alone this type of machine in particular. Sure, it was a rough idea, but if there was to be a centralised solution I imagine it would be much wiser investing in bigger sources of food production and greater economies of scale. If they were to go so far as one per country, or even region, the savings would be unthinkable. Oh, and not to mention that the main work is surely not in the theorising or even in the machine, but in the actual process, much like the cost of operating the CERN LHC, teleporting atoms, or simulating invisbility cloaks.
Again, I side with you on this one, I was just trying to make a point. Punching someone trying to help you, no matter how much you may disagree with their opinion, is a bit over the top. This eighth point though, I’m afraid I’m going to have to disagree with you both on, even though it will likely invoke some fire! I’m not defending this group of stereotypical girls for any particular reason, but I believe in being fair to all, and I really don’t think these people deserve the kind of scorn you’re giving them (much like the passionate religious). Okay I get it, you think it doesn’t represent them, and they don’t have a right. But facebook statuses aren’t the emblem you put on your family crest, nor are they the name you give your house. Facebook statuses went to hell a long time ago. They’re whimsical, fleeting. They’re more often than not applied by impulse, and more often than not completely ignored. If you have these girls on your list (why?), you’re free to ignore them, comment to them, or even delete them. I would suggest the latter as you seem to loathe them. Let them say what they like. School them if you feel the need. If you’re lucky you’ll change things. Nothing changes by ranting in private.
The space elevator is perhaps my last real antagonising point. I’m sorry but I don’t agree with either of your views- distorted because it’s hardly ‘dreaming’ when the idea is over a hundred years old (and it’s still not even possible let alone feasible), and shadow because, well, it’s just not a viable future for our lifetimes. the fact that the most greedy company in the world and the most money-wasting organisation in the world are both working on it really means nothing… heck, you didn’t even say NASA’s working on it, the competitions you mention are really more like school fairs in comparison to the kind of money a project like this would take. Realistically, even when the materials for the tethers are strong enough to hold (your department, by the sounds of it), they’ll be far too easy to break- stable strength is entirely different from the strength to withstand everything than can be thrown at it (and boy, there sure are a lot of things). One little occasion not prepared well enough for and boom, mil/billions of dollars will just collapse like that.
Last of all, and this is finishing on a somewhat lighter note (good, it better be after all that typing!), it was just because of the way you said knowledge and understanding. Omniscience would no doubt allow you ‘force will’ as you pleased anyway, but I just felt you were missing the word. I’m sure you would much rather have omniscience than omnipotence anyway. Yes distorted I know I typed the wrong word there, thanks for reminding us -_- but seriously, read it again if you don’t believe me, I wasn’t mocking him I wouldn’t even say I was correcting him like you’ve done, I was just putting the intended word (’the word you were looking for’) in. Because you see, other than the mistaken word, I pretty much get the sentence. Though you seem to understimate the potential of the three named ‘omnis’. Depending on what you believe the limits of the universe to be, omniscience is by far the most powerful, followed by omnipresence, and then omnipotence. Heck, if you want to count benevolence as one of the four, you could even say that’s actually the most powerful, though I suppose that’s a different matter.
distorted’s last comment was a bit rude and I’m not exactly sure why they felt the need (I feel it was a bit unnecessary…) but I guess I shouldn’t complain, my first comment was kinda rude in parts. SO yea, hope you guys/gals/guy+gal/gal+guy/both+one/etc (lol I’m just playing) reply without being too offended, ttyl.
-p.s. sorry for this comment being so much longer, guess I got kinda carried away, but didn’t wanna ignore any of your points…..
Holy cow I didn’t know it was /that/ long. My bad.
I know I certainly appreciate someone actually posting coherent counter-points to the articles that we publish on our site, because it means someone is actually out there reading and considering our points of view. We have a small readership, so to get participation from our readers is a pretty big deal for us.
And my apologies for my parting quip, it was probably a bit uncalled for in the situation.
I heard about the idea for this article before it was written, and I chuckled a bit because some people deserve to be knocked out occasionally… but I didn’t think it would spawn a string of comments taking around 15 minutes to read. Nice work, all.